Working in Tokyo: Part 1 of ???

So you wanna live and work in Tokyo. You have two paths. Path number one is where you go to college, get an advanced degree, learn Japanese up to the JLPT level 2, and get placed by your Fortune 500 company here. Path number two, just move here and try and find a job talking to people. Are you a teacher? You don't have a teaching degree or training, so who knows?

あなたは　東京に　住みたいか？　二つ　道が　あります。 一番の　道は　大学　行きました、学位が　手に入れました、日本語の　JLPT２を　勉強しました、日本の　フォルツヌフィヴォフンドレドの　仕事　ありました。　二番　道が　移転　だけ　しました、会話の　仕事が　ありました。　先生　ですか？　先生の　学位が　ありません。　知らない！

Anata wa Tokyo ni sumitaika? Futatsu michi ga arimasu.　Ichiban no michi wa daigaku ikimashita, gakui ga te ni iremashita, nihongo no JLPT2 o benkyoshimashita, nihon no forutunofivohundoredo no shigoto arimashita. Niban michi ga iten dake shimashita, kaiwa no shigoto ga arimasu. Sensei desuka? Sensei no gakui ga arimasen. Shiranai!



// Begin Edit

I wrote another entry complaining about work stuff, but it was kind of boring. So I deleted the text, but kept the links and random photos. I think it's better that way.

// End Edit



www.imdb.com
host club



beers

The New School

I'm sorry Saitama. I wrote a blog about how Saitama sucks, probably because I started working again and am stressed. Well, not stressed, but broke. Saitama has a kick ass organic cafe, the John Lennon museum, and a Bonsai city. Hooray!

ごめなさい　埼玉。　私の　埼玉の　ブラグを　書きました。　だから　今　私は　仕事を　して、自棄が　あります。　あの。。。　自棄が　ありません。　でも、　お金が　ありません。　埼玉は　すごい　オルガニクの　喫茶店　あって、ジョンレンオンの　美術館　あって、盆栽の　町　あります。　やった！



I've mentioned that I started a couple new jobs. The word started doesn't follow the normal denotation though. Here, the connotation is that by starting a job, I have spent about a hundred bucks and about 5 days of time spread out over the weeks to attend unpaid trainings, interviews, and general job related fun. But I haven't actually worked.



My Junior High School job, which I assumed would start on the 1st of April, since that's when school starts, actually starts on April 21st. "But that's in the past". Let me rephrase. I thought, since the company told me I would start on the 21st, that I would start working on the 21st. It's now the 23rd, and they are still "working out the contracts." But all is not lost! I get to attend another unpaid training for this company next week. Celebrate!



My other job, the big evil ekaiwa (conversation school for people with lots of money) in Tokyo has finally started. I actually taught a lesson yesterday. One lesson. Today I'm going in again, but I don't have any lessons scheduled. "Sweet! Just chill and get paid!" Not exactly. The way it works is you fill in your schedule and show up at those times. If you don't have a student, you don't get paid. If you do have a student, you get garbage money.



15 bucks for each 40 minute lesson. So if you go in for 5 hours but only teach 1 lesson, 15 bucks. The idea is that if you are there a little while, your schedule will fill up with regulars and the big bucks will roll in.



By big bucks I mean pocket change. After train fare and a massive bowl of Ogikubo ramen, I was in the red yesterday. And I had to wear a suit.



But let's look on the bright side! When there isn't a class scheduled, you can chill on the internet and study. The school is way relaxed, and each private cubicle has good chairs and a laptop. What the hell? Is that really the bright side? I can chill in the park, or at home in the nude. Like I am now.



Give it another month. I'll be waking up early, going to my Junior High a few days a week, teaching at the ekaiwa Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights, and taking long weekends to go on grand adventures into the unknown. Or I'll be copying and pasting this paragraph into a new blog. Welcome to Tokyo.



FYI, this corn was damn tasty!

Saitama in the Media!

埼玉　埼玉　埼玉

I lived in Saitama prefecture for a year. When people from other prefectures are asked about Saitama, they will either laugh or cringe. One of the two. Which one are you? Do you laugh at those who put themselves in a bad situation? Or do you sympathize with them?

一ヵ年　埼玉県　に　すんで　いました。　違う県　の　人　は　埼玉県　を　馬鹿　に　します。 I don't know how to translate any more of this.



From the anime series "Code Geass". Takes place in a futuristic Tokyo that has been taken over by a British superpower. Saitama has apparently been turned into a ghetto. Not much effort required, as that scene looks like the street outside my old apartment. Giant robots and all.



From the movie "A Yakuza in Love". He's actually saying だ埼玉、だ埼玉。Da-Saitama! Dasai means not cool.

But fictional movies about romantic gangsters and battle mechs aren't the only way to imagine Saitama! Just check out the local news:

Drug Bust in Kawagoe.

This is old news, over a year ago. Some Nova teachers were slangin and got busted in Kawagoe. It was swell to be pigeon holed in my town after this. Suddenly everyone in town wanted to know my relationship with the Nova jackasses who got busted with coke and pot. Good times! To be honest though, I was too high on coke and pot to really care what people thought.

Car Crashes into 7-11.

Driving the motorcycle was a chore around Saitama. Not only were the streets clogged with delivery trucks, but said delivery trucks were mostly being driven in reverse by an unsuspecting old granny driver. And there were giant robots in the streets to be concerned about as well.

Girl Attacked with a Stun Gun.

If you've read the blog for a while, you've seen my lovely photo collection of warning signs. My favorite is still:



Lesson learned, believe all hand painted signs depicting school girl violence.

Old Man Schoolgirl.

Ahhh.... now isn't that sweet. There was an old dude I would see at the Kawagoe station bus stop about once a week decked out to the nines in a sailor moon style school girl dress. He seemed harmless. School girls are harmless... right?

School Girls Attack Police.

Wrong!

McDonalds Porn Shoot Busted.

Saved the best for last. Tourism into Saitama jumped the week after this story broke.

I also read a biography, "Confessions of a Yakuza", where the guy went to Kawagoe to a VD clinic in the 1920s.

A Wedding in Niigata

I went to Niigata for a friend's wedding. Cherry blossoms, kimonos, and sake. It was very interesting.

私　の　友達　の　結婚　ありましたから、新潟　に　行きました。　桜、着物、お酒。　とても　面白かった　でした。




The all white kimono is stunning.



It is muted beauty, traditional and pure, yet exotic.





My speech on the table, thank you everyone who helped me practice it in the days before the ceremony.



What's a Japanese wedding like? On the surface, the ceremony in the temple is a lot like a catholic ceremony. Not too romantic, a whole lot of standing up and sitting down, and me just watching what everyone else does and then copying. And shorter... much shorter. After that, a dinner reception and cake type thing. Speeches and some sake. Finally there is a second party with a lot more people at a local bar or restaurant, dancing and drinking. That party unfortunately ended at 8, so you need to make it on your own after.

Some other cultural oddities. You don't give presents. You give the bride and groom 30,000 yen, that's about $300, cash money. Want that new Ducati sports bike? Find a Japanese girl with 50 friends!





おめでとうございます！
Omedeto gozaimasu!
Congratulations!

Hanami 2008

Flower pictures.

花　の　写真。

Time to Work Again

For the past few months I have been searching, applying, and interviewing for a job. I finally found a couple that I like, so now I am going to trainings. It is boring, hilarious, tedious, annoying, colorful, pompous, and interesting. Teacher training is everything!

私　は　三間月　に　仕事　を　捜しました。　仕事　を　二つ　好き　です。　今　訓練　あります。　これ　は　つまらなくて、　愉快で、　退屈で、　迷惑で、　面白いです。　先生　の　訓練　は　全てもの！



I came to Tokyo with the notion of just finding something, anything, hopefully something that would let me maintain my savings. If I were to burn through a year and a half of savings on beer and Hello Kitty Theme Parks, I might feel bad.

I made my choices, and starting in a couple weeks I will have two part time jobs. The main one is as an Assistant Language Teacher (ALT). I'll go to a few different Junior High Schools and assist the normal English teachers. Similar to JET I guess, but about a tenth of the pay. Since it is only a few days a week, I will also work for a well known one on one English conversation school. And, like the other job, about a tenth of the pay. To say that English Teachers are taken advantage of in Tokyo would be an understatement. Likewise, to say that I am an English Teacher would be an understatement.

Yesterday was my first day of training for my ALT position. It was held in Yorii, Saitama. I checked the train route, and it was on the same line as Kawagoe... but about an hour farther. Now THAT is the cuts. I footed the bill for the journey, and attended the free, mandatory training.

What follows are my notes from the day. We spent the day pretty much going over policy. My notes aren't about any of that. They are about the funny things I observed. Here you go.

• 10:00 - A little late, I walked in to a room of 80 people, mostly men, listening to a speech. The speaker said, "Ok guys, here is the enemy!" Then he brought out a men's weekly (manga magazine) and opened to an idol picture in a school girl dress. He regaled us with stories about high fives gone wrong, teacher touching fan clubs, jail time, and upskirt panty games.
• 10:30 - Being a bad teacher is ok, but being late is not.
• 10:35 - I can hear gospel music coming from downstairs. Were talking choir music here people.
• 10:45 - One of the trainers looks like the guy from No Country for Old Men. "Repeat after me, ABCDEFG... freindo..."
• 10:50 - Were just taught how to write our letters and numbers. I have 10 mistakes. So does the girl next to me.
• 11:00 - Just noticed that the form in front of me says "non-mandatory" training. Outside I can see a blossoming cherry tree on top of a mountain. I could be climbing that tree right now.
• 11:20 - The guy next to me has been snacking all day. Fig newtons and what not. Whatever, I don't mind. But at exactly 11:20, homeboy whips out a fucking bottle of salsa! And chips. This dude is dipping away like it's UCLA against North Carolina in the final game. This was seriously some funny shit. I'm talking about a conference room with 80 people dressed in suits and he just pulls this out of his bag. Where do you even GET salsa in Japan?
• 11:21 - This next manager looks like the jerky nerd from Real Genius. Anyone?
• 11:30 - We played a game of telephone. You know, the game where you whisper the message and relay it on? Only they called it Chinese Whispers. What the fuck kind of name is that? I guess thats what they called this game in Australia. I don't know how it's racist, but it is.
• 11:40 - I just had a 10 minute long daydream. Something about being on a beach in California.
  
• 12:50 - The Japanese staff introduce themselves. The first guy is the high up manager. Very serious Japanese business man. After he gives a speech in Japanese with a translator to help, one of the trainers asks if anyone used to work for NOVA. About half raise their hands. Then he says that this guy used to be a high level manager at NOVA. That's like introducing someone as, "Hey, remember the guy that stole about $6000 from you and kicked you out onto the street? Remember him? He's your new boss." It wa awckward to say the least.
• 1:20 - We just talked about the shoe mechanics of Japanese public schools for 20 minutes. Apparently I need to buy like 3 more pairs of shoes.
• 1:45 - At least 2 hours of the training has been spent fielding the most obscure, personalized issues people can think of. You can't get proper health care because you lived in japan once 10 yeas ago, then left without turning in your foreign registration card, and now you have problems? Let's discuss this please.
• 2:00 - One of the trainers talked about an interesting way to teach comparatives. Longer and shorter can be taught with a lively game of drawing straws. Fair enough. Then he pulls out a box with pre-cut strings for everyone, so we can all play draw straws ourselves. A couple night ago someone went out, bought string, cut said string, made sure the long pile and short pile were separate, and here we are. That's over 200 pieces of cut string.
  
• 3:30 - A trainer comes out in a horse head mask.

And that was how it all went down.